Wednesday, December 14, 2011
When writing a eulogy, it is hard to know where or how to begin. How could you possibly put into words just how wonderful you thought a person was? How can you even begin to describe the vast amount of greatness, impact, and influence that she had upon the people who were lucky enough to meet her. Simply put. You can't. But I will do my best to provide a snapshot.
I can remember when I was little asking Mom what she wanted to be when she was a little girl, and she said a nurse. I can recall feeling sad for Mom that she never got to fulfill that dream. Instead she was "stuck" at home raising seven kids for her whole life. It was not until I was a little older that I realized Mom did indeed get to fulfill that dream of being a nurse- she nursed many broken bones, cuts, scrapes, and bruises, as well as mended many hurt feelings and broken hearts of her seven children for forty nine years of her life. In addition to being a nurse, she took on many other roles, teacher, chef, maid, taxi-cab driver, counselor, referee, policeman, just to name a few. She had a twenty four hour a day, 365 days a year, 49 year old job. I know that some of my siblings and I with just a few kids, often marvel at just how mom did it with seven, when there are days we can barely manage with two. She never got to call in, received a sick day, or paid vacation; she was never recognized in front of her peers for a job well done, or given a raise for superior work. I'm sure there are days that mom would have loved to just quit, but she didn't, she never gave up. Instead, she got up every day and forged on. She didn't need a pat on the back, she didn't need money, she didn't need the praise. And that was mom. She was a fighter until the moment she entered the gates of heaven.
Mom stood for something to every person that knew her. I think she represented the master of balancing acts. As a wife, she was steadfast, loving, and loyal. As a mother, she was consistent and firm, yet loving and supportive. As a sister, she was a gambling buddy, a best friend. As an aunt, friend, grandmother, and mother -in- law, she was funny and fun loving, welcoming, sarcastic, and accepting. I think to all, she was an ear that heard, a shoulder to cry on. Mom was honest, yet delicate. She would tell you how she felt and not mince her words to spare your feelings. Yet somehow, you walked away from a conversation with Mom, feeling better, more loved, more accepted, and less judged, even if it wasn't the advice YOU wanted to hear. Mom was a great source of wisdom.
I believe her wisdom was just a component of her strength. It was a gift to all that knew her. Even through her diagnoses, her treatments, and all they way up to her wordly end, mom spoke the truth. She was a realist. She knew that she had stage IV cancer, she knew that she would probably not live another 10 or even 5 years after diagnoses. But that didn't stop her from living, from fighting , from hoping, from praying, from loving, and from going on multiple trips to Vegas. However, she knew when her time on Earth was up. She let each of us know that she was ready. This allowed for all of us to prepare, to have our last goodbyes, our last I love you's our last hugs and kisses here on earth. She, on her death bed, continued to give to us. She gave us the gift of peace, and for many of us reaffirmed our faith. She left us without without a doubt, without a question, that there is indeed a glorious God and a heaven.
In fact, my family and I find no coincidence in the fact that she told us multiple times, "I'm Ready, I'm so Ready," and the fact that she entered God's kingdom shortly after my brothers placed tickets for a horse named "I'm Ready" in her hand, and minutes after her passing, "I'm Ready" came in first place in a race at Turfway Downs.
I can tell you one thing Mom, to all that knew you, you will never be forgotten. You left your mark in this world in so many ways. I know there are many kids who filtered through the cafeteria line at St. Cecilia that now as adults, will remember you every time they look at a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or for those who worked with you at Yealey, every time they do any type of craft, they will snicker and remember you and your true love for art. Nonone will ever be able to exactly imitate your macaroni salad, your sweat tea, your M&M cookies, your jello salad. Even though we will keep trying, I know there will always be "something not just right." We will remember you in the winter and how much you loved cold weather, with your hat, scarves, and earmuffs on when it was a chilling 58 degrees. None of your children or grandchildren will ever sit next to a fire, listen to Elvis music, sip through a straw, or attend church, without thinking of you. Your children will think of you when seeing a wooden spoon or ping pong paddles (not me of course!), when eating a bologna sandwich (with chips on it),a home cooked meal, butter bread, or a big bowl of ice cream. None of us will ever look at 5:00 without thinking that our butts better be at that kitchen table or "last one out is a rotten egg". Your children and grandchildren will continue many of the traditions you laid forth for us, such as saying "Bless us O'Lord," "May the Souls of the Faithful" AND "The Hail Mary" all before supper. We will remind our kids no shoes on the couch, "Shut the door", and no playing ball in the house. We will attempt your pike dives and your head stands, but I am sure will never master it like you. We will continue to go to the boats and to Vegas, hopefully now with a little divine luck from you. But most importantly, you will live on through the morals and values that you and Dad instilled with in us.
One thing is for sure now, Mom. The lights in Vegas shine brighter because you are above them.
You NOW have your reward mom, your recognition, your paid vacation, and I cannot think of anyone more deserving than you!
